MORGANTOWN — If you were to pick one person in this entire university city, the one person you feel would be the best man to roast in a gala affair at the Waterfront Place Hotel, that person would have to be West Virginia University basketball coach Bob Huggins.

Why?

Well, to begin with, you could bring in a star-studded cast of roasters, for Huggins is, if nothing else, a ringleader within the basketball coaching profession. If anyone could draw the likes of John Calipari (Kentucky), Frank Martin (Kansas State), Andy Kennedy (Mississippi), Ron Everhart (Duquesne) and football’s Tommy Bowden (Clemson), to say nothing of the inimitable Jay Jacobs, it is he.

And, if you are looking for an easy target, as his life has led him down some strange paths — a far-too-well publicized DUI arrest, charges that he wasn’t graduating his student-athletes, a black eye here, broken ribs there, here a fall, there a fall, everywhere a fall fall.

Finally, of course, Huggins is perfect for a roast because, in the end, the microphone gets passed to him and he has the last word, and anyone who has spent any time with him at all knows that this can be a very funny man capable of giving it out as well as taking it.

“Whatever they say,” Huggins has said, “I’ve heard it all before.”

Now, guess what, they actually are planning to roast the man himself with that same cast of characters and a couple of surprises on Friday night, benefits going to the Norma Mae Huggins Cancer Research Endowment Fund at the WVU Mary Babb Randolph Cancer Center.

We will get to more about the fund shortly, and ticket information will be at the end of this article.

Roasts, as anyone who saw the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts from the early days of color TV or the far more adult oriented Friar’s Roasts that now come up on occasion, can be a great deal of fun ... and they can also offer some wonderful barbs.

Back in another life, I was called upon to roast a baseball player by the name of Pete Rose. I phrase that like that because Major League Baseball apparently wants you to forget all about him and 4,256 base hits, but that’s a matter for another day.

Certainly, I was well-suited for the task, having written a couple of books with Rose ... eh, for Rose ... and having covered him throughout the 1970s in Cincinnati. And so it was that I took the podium and said:

“I don’t want to say that Pete Rose is dumb ... but there was that day when the escalator he was riding stopped and he was trapped for four hours waiting for the fire department to come rescue him.

“Let me put it this way about Pete, he’s the only man I know who has written more books than he’s read. And he had trouble coloring the one’s that he did read.”

Rose, of course, and Huggins are quite familiar with each other through their Cincinnati backgrounds, and one suspects that had Huggins been a baseball player rather than a basketball player, he’d have played the game a whole lot like Rose used to do.

And that’s a compliment.

But wouldn’t it be nice to be joining Calipari and that whole rogue’s gallery of coaches in roasting Bob Huggins ... (fade to dream)

“Thank you ladies and gentlemen. We’re here tonight to roast Bob Huggins. That’s him over there. Bob, I never thought I’d see you in a tuxedo ... especially a gold one like that.”

Bada boom.

“It’s a little-known fact that there was a time when Huggins was little his parents didn’t like him very much. The truth is they bronzed his baby shoes ... with his feet in them.”

Bada boom.

“Bob’s pacemaker has been acting up lately. Every time he sneezes, his garage door goes up and down.”

Bada boom, boom, boom.

“Huggs, you’re a great basketball coach. I know because you’ve told me that many times.”

(Back to reality)

Seriously now, folks, if we can take a moment to be serious. The fund that benefits from this is named after Huggins’ mother, Norma Mae, who died in 2003 following a long battle with colon cancer. It is the same disease that my son, Rob, who lives back in Cincinnati and has a wife, Cindy, three lovely children, Robby, Holden and Carolina, is fighting at this moment, which drives this home to me as I would hope to drive it home to you.

They are looking to raise at least $50,000, according to Will Armistead, director of development at the Mary Babb Randolph Cancer Center, an amount that will be matched by state funding.

There will be silent auctions, selling off such items as a Nick Saban-signed football from Alabama and another from Jim Tressel of Ohio State.

TICKET INFORMATION: The roast will begin with a reception at 7 p.m., include a dinner at 8 p.m. and be followed by the roast. Tickets are $100 per person or $1,000 per table and must be purchased by Tuesday. For more information or to purchase tickets, call Tammy Whitacre at 304-293-8604.

E-mail Bob Hertzel at bhertzel@hotmail.com.