FAIRMONT — Sgt. Ralph Suter Jr. didn’t die on the battlefields of Iraq, but in his sleep months after returning home.

“When I got that call about what happened to my son, it was one of the lowest points in my life,” said Suter’s father, Ralph, Sr. “I was devastated. I remember asking, ‘Are you sure?’ I never thought he could be dead. I couldn’t believe it. He was home and safe, and then he just dies.”

Suter said his son was a different man when he returned from Iraq where he served on the front lines in Baghdad. He said his son was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He was only 44 years old when he died July 23, 2007.

“I consider him a casualty of war — a war he believed in,” Suter said.

On Memorial Day, the Suter family will be remembering a man who loved serving his country, enjoyed life and excelled at everything. He was a father of three children and grandfather of two.

“He will be greatly missed by all who knew him,” said Ralph Jr.’s sister, Debbie. “He was and is my big brother, and I loved him dearly.”

Suter is buried in Kansas, but he does not have a grave marker. The family has learned that the funeral bill has not been paid and over $12,000 is still due. No marker can be put on the grave until this bill is paid.

“This has caused further heartache for our family,” said Nancy Suter, Ralph’s stepmother.

Suter said his son always wanted to be a soldier, so he joined the U.S. Army in his early 20s. He served with the Army Airborne and was stationed in Germany in the late 1980s at the end of the Cold War era. After Suter hurt his knee during a parachuting mission, he was able to return to West Virginia. He would attend Fairmont State University and graduate with honors with a degree in electrical engineering. By then, Suter was the father of three children.

Bryce Reynolds, 42, went to FSU with Suter. He described his friend as a dedicated student who spent a lot of time studying.

“Ralph loved to laugh. He was a conscientious student,” he said. “We spent a lot of time together talking about college and family. He was a just a good friend whom I will miss dearly.”

Reynolds said he had a lot in common with Suter. Both were family men, older non-traditional students and devoted Christians who were active in the Mannington Church of the Nazarene.

“We were friends because we shared similar beliefs and goals to take better care of our families,” he said. “I was shocked and saddened when I heard the news. I’m glad to have known him.”

Suter said his son moved his young family to Kansas during the mid-1990s. Because serving his country was still in his blood, Suter joined the Kansas Army National Guard. Capt. Brent Buckley said Suter wanted to be a gunner with an armored artillery unit.

“Sgt. Suter had already served in Germany in the ’90s on active duty and was now starting to make a name for himself in the proud 137th Infantry Regiment — 1st Kansas!” Buckley said in a proud confident voice common to drill fields and barracks.

Buckley said Suter had the highest qualification score in marksmanship needed to qualify for a spot as a gunner on a Bradley tank. In fact, Suter’s skill earned him the honor of serving as a gunner for the “Top Gun” tank.

“The thing about it was, he was an excellent soldier, an outstanding soldier,” he said. “He was the kind of guy that it didn’t matter what we needed him to do, he would always excel.”

As anybody knows who has served in the military, there is a lot of attention paid to drilling in formation. Buckley recalled that Sgt. Suter had the rare talent of being able to precisely mimic the chirping of a cricket.

“That talent offered lots of laughs when the guys were in formation,” he said.

Sgt. Suter was deployed to Baghdad in 2005 during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Buckley, who served as Suter’s platoon leader, said their company was involved in the “thick of the fighting.” The men’s missions varied from guard duty to searching for Improvised Explosive Devices, even searching Iraqi vehicles and checkpoints during grueling shifts for days at time.

“While the deployment was during the height of the violence and there were still 3-4 U.S. military service members killed in the country each day, and the soldiers in the platoon worked months on end, normally 12-14 hour shifts each day without days off, Sgt. Suter remained a positive force around the soldiers,” Buckley said.

Buckley said while in Iraq, Suter purchased a black guitar and an electrical amplifier with a speaker. One night when Buckley was walking through camp with another officer, they heard Suter tuning the guitar and asked him to play a song.

“Sgt. Suter thought for a second or two and then belted out a flawless rendition of Metallica’s ‘Fade to Black,’” Buckley said.

During Suter’s deployment, he had to return home briefly because of a bad fire at his house. Later, Suter ended his service overseas about a month early for medical-related reasons, Buckley said.

“While talking to him following his return, it was obvious that if he could have chosen, he would have much rather stayed with the platoon and finished the mission together,” Buckley said. “I always got the idea that he felt he had let us down somehow.”

Following Suter’s passing, his company planted a memorial maple tree on the front lawn of the Kansas National Guard Amory in Wichita.

After many months on the battlefield, Suter was able to return to the states. Upon his return, he greeted his father and offered him a special pocket knife he had found during his tour of duty. The father said he collects knives.

“Ralph said to me that when he found this knife, he told himself ‘I’m going to get this home to my dad.’ That was the first thing he told me when he saw me,” he said.

Suter said his son had changed since his return from the battlefield in 2006.

“I’d seen a big change in his personality,” Suter said. “He was happy-go-lucky, but something was different. He was depressed, didn’t want to talk about something — he wasn’t even there. That wasn’t my son, he was always laughing and talking. I don’t know what happened.”

Suter said his son was ready to return to duty, but that more often than not, he was depressed. Suter said he was being treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in the months leading up to his death in July 2007.

“My guess is that he had seen so much in Iraq that it bothered him,” he said.

In the first time the Defense Department has disclosed a number for PTSD cases from the two wars, officials said nearly 40,000 troops have been diagnosed with the illness since 2003, though they believe many more are likely keeping their illness a secret, according to The Associated Press. That’s partly because officials have been encouraging troops to get help even if it means they go to private civilian therapists and don’t report it to the military. The 40,000 cases cover only those that the military has tracked.

Officials have estimated that roughly 50 percent of troops with mental health problems don’t get treatment because they’re embarrassed or fear it will hurt their careers, according to The Associated Press. An accounting of diagnosed cases shows the hardest hit last year were Marines and Army soldiers, the two ground forces bearing the brunt of combat in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The Army reported more than 10,000 new cases in 2007, compared to more than 6,800 the previous year. More than 28,000 soldiers altogether were diagnosed with the disorder in the past five years, according to The Associated Press.

The Marine Corps had more than 2,100 cases in 2007, compared to 1,366 in 2006. They have had more than 5,000 PTSD cases diagnosed since 2003, according to The Associated Press.

Suter’s stepmother, Nancy, speculates that the amount and combination of medication may have contributed to Ralph’s death.

“He was so proud to be a soldier,” she said. “Except for the medication he was taking, there was no indication that anything was wrong. When he came back from Iraq, he purchased a Harley and a new car. This is why we are stumped by all this.”

Despite the Suter family’s loss, Ralph’s sister Debbie was quick to remember his sacrifice and that of other service personnel on this Memorial Day weekend.

“I want to thank all the veterans for all they have done and are still doing for our country,” she said. “We would not live in the land of the free without all of their sacrifice and the sacrifices of their families. I wish you all a Happy Memorial Day and I would like to add, make sure you tell your family and friends you love them every chance you get — you can never say enough.”

E-mail J. Miles Layton at mlayton@timeswv.com.